As a mom of an adorable and very particular 4-year old princess, I often grapple with the struggle of wanting my daughter to only consume healthy foods but not wanting her to grow up resenting a super clean diet or even worse hiding food from me. I want her to eat healthy food and LOVE doing so (I aim high)
I, initially, did everything “right”. I breastfed for over a year, modelled healthy eating habits and at 6 months introduced solids in the form of sustainably grown lamb, organic cold pressed green juice, avocado and sweet potato. Although I did not ‘babify’ any food I also did not buy pre-packaged baby food. Salads aside, what I ate, she ate, mostly organic soft foods. It was easy, family inclusive and most importantly simply nutritious.
For her first birthday party I made miss pretty princess a raw organic vegan ice cream cake (it was delicious), and filled the piñata with organic lollypops and prizes like stamps and bubbles. I have a video of her at two years old juicing…and then chugging the juice with a smile on her face. I was a proud mama.
Then she went to school. Puff pastry, and limitless crackers were on daily offer. Birthday cakes seem to be as well (I still don’t understand the frequency, there were only 20 kids in her class- how was there a birthday party every second day?). Other kids brought snacks that had me cry silently “don’t corrupt her!!”
And it just got worse. Birthday parties. Synagogue and the candy man. Summer Slurpees. Coveted midnight (aka 7 pm) feasts. Friends and family members offering candy (red food dye, dentist nightmare sort of things) as prizes… I was horrified- I didn’t want to be the mom who ‘didn’t let’, but at the same time I was determined to stand my ground.
I knew that I could never relinquish my desire for her to appreciate real nourishing food and I would never be the mom with an attitude of “just let her have it, ill deal with that later” or “my child only eats fried in carcinogenic oil fish sticks, if I don’t give it to them every single night, he/she will STARVE” Every poor food choice would reverberate for me into “what am I teaching my daughter” “ Am I giving her the tools she needs to practice self-care in this maddening world with its poor nutritional messages?”.
So I created these 5 golden rules for balance. They provide me with a basis to both keep my sanity and give my daughter some freedom.
We, moms and dads, are the role models. What we eat, the kids will eat. Before we get all health crazy on our kids, we need to straighten out our own eating habits- better yet, do it all together as a family. We don’t want our kids drinking soda? We need to stop drinking soda ourselves. We don’t want our kids eating a bar of chocolate before dinnertime? We need to stop sneaking into the laundry room for a bar ourselves. We don’t want our kids eating a box of cookies at a time? We need to practice healthy portion size ourselves. We want our kids eating more veggies? We need to eat them ourselves! This works for many reasons, but most importantly, if everyone is eating healthy nourishing food- that is all that will be available.
Studies have shown that kids need to be exposed to new foods 17 times before they are likely to try or like it. This is not what most of us do do. It is more common to buy broccoli, cook it, serve it and if no one touches it write it off as “oh well, no one here likes broccoli, not buying that one again.” Worse off, saying it out loud confirms “we are the never tried, but know we hate broccoli family” Have you ever heard someone say “oh! No one in my family would touch that!”? exactly. Instead, as the parent, we need to say “no one is going to try this? Goody, more for me” and then proceed to serve it 16 more times. If you can’t choke it down either, perhaps consider a new recipe with the same main ingredient (everyone should be able to recognize its original form- no sneakiness with hiding broccoli in sugar laced foods going on here). I have had success with this many times. Better yet, get them involved.
Food= food. Dessert = healthy sweet options Most people eat dessert as food and chemical storms for dessert. Desserts should be the only desserts served at a meal (sounds so logical, right?!). Chicken with sauce that is sweeter than cherry pie? Just say no. Sweet potato pie with two cups of sugar? Just say no. Salads with more sugar and processed fat than 2 cheeseburgers… just say no. Choose chemical, additive, coloring, preservative, and white sugar free foods to increase your nutrient intake and reduce nutrient free food intake (I plan to add loads of information and recipes throughout this blog to help you do this).
A dehydrated body is a sick one. The most important nutritional advice I can give to parents is to ensure their kids are FULLY hydrated. This means one thing: water and ONLY water as a staple drink. No soda. No juice. No PowerAde. I know this may sound drastic to some of you, but just by instilling this one thing- you will completely change the health of your entire family AND it is free!!
Don’t use food as a prize. Food and candy are not a healthy choices as behavioral incentives. This goes way beyond the added calories. To raise healthy children (and be healthy moms!) we cannot look at food as a reward or punishment. Food is a delicious and enjoyable way to nourish ourselves, yes, sometimes we indulge to satisfy other needs, but the less we do that, the better. We can avoid this by choosing other small prizes (stickers, bubbles), or wonderful experiences as incentives.
There it is! My five basics to start with. If you have anything that truly works in your household, please share!
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